Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
