I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
