Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
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Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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