Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
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That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
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His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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