i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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