I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
