I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
