If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
