I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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