It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
