I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
