it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
