I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
