I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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