check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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