It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
