imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think people are normalizing furries
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
