I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
