so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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