Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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