"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
