his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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