she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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