who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
