That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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