I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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