Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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