The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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