try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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