You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize