I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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