Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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