She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
