i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
