Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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