You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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