so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
