she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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