Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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