When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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