did you get engaged???
i already hear my dad disowning me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize