He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
