There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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