Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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