i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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