hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
