so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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