when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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