yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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