ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
All the doctor said was why
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
