have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
