rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
