The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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