Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
