Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
