The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
