So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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