I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
