i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
