I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
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There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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