Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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