Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
