I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
tell me about the fingering
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