Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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